I didn’t know him personally, but this kid just died this morning after being hit by a truck on the freeway. I went on facebook and it kind of hit me. This kid is dead. Like, you’re never going to see him again. And it’s like social media has sucked all the emotion out of that reality of death.
It kind of bothers me, you know? I didn’t even know him and I want to cry about it. I want to cry over how his mother, father, siblings, friends, etc. are feeling. But then it’s like these people say RIP to him, then, whatever, that’s it. No, that’s not it. There are people experiencing pain over this. Someone is never going to see a son, a brother, a best friend, ever again.
Yeah, he wasn’t the perfect kid. But he deserves more than just a few empty words.
Some days I’m happy to be here. And other days I hate it. The latter seems to be increasingly becoming the norm. I wasn’t even one of those people who complained about the social life or the city or the classes or the homework. I liked all my professors. Genuinely. I didn’t have trouble adapting to the dorm life or the weather. I was content.
But now I’m starting to hate this environment, this bubble, more and more. I’ve yet to find that niche where I’m equally included and involved. I have friends here, but still there’s something off.
The things I find important are blatantly disregarded. They’re brushed off as non-issues. People don’t feel a sense of accountability because they don’t care about how their action, or inaction, affects me. There’s no reliability when it comes to time or money because I am not an important enough figure to be given that sort of concern.
I can’t deal with that sort of bullshit anymore. And maybe it’s my fault. But wasn’t it once human decency to be considerate of others’ feelings, to pay back debts and to be faithful to commitments?
I guess not.
People here are so fake. I see that more and more. They can afford to be nothing in and of themselves. But I can’t. And I’m just so done with these shitty people and their shitty attitudes. I’ve worked too hard and dealt with too much to resign myself to a place surrounded by people destined to live shitty lives.